Chapter 341: Difference in Height (6)
– Can you even hit me?
In that moment, her words flashed past his ears.
Her lips that pursed immediately after him saying, ‘Yes’;
And her fangs that protruded out with displeasure.
A short sentence from Yeorum had caused a ripple in his chaotic emotions.
And now, Yeorum was pinned beneath him yelling with her fangs in full display. He had just raised his hand to slap the child on her cheek.
The emotions that he had forced down and turned away from with the start of the education were yet again trying to raise its head.
It is something that had to be done one day.
Yeorum had to go back.
She had to go back, defeat her nemesis and survive.
It would probably be possible to put a blanket over her temperament and let it pass. It would also be possible for him to ignore it and let Yeorum find the method herself. However, in this world there were problems that could not be solved in such a way.
Giving nothing but affection to a lovely child is not the role of a guardian. That is neglect; something incompetent people would do.
Every growth is naturally accompanied by pain.
Even if it hurts momentarily, pain would help the existence grow.
He continued his line of thought. He placed several barriers around his heart. Like a steel breastplate, it then stopped the things that were poking his heart and settled his uncomfortable mood.
A slap landed on her cheek.
Her head turned to the side as her eyes turned blank for a bit from shock. But Yeorum quickly turned her head back towards him, shouted and thrashed her arms around. She twisted her shoulders and her waist, all for the sole purpose of attacking Yu Jitae. The instinct embedded in her blood was still misunderstanding things. ‘Get more upset to overcome the situation.’ That was the command being given to the red dragon.
Even though the shackles were made as blunt as possible to protect her skin, her exceedingly violent actions resulted in red lines being drawn on her wrists and her neck. It wasn’t because of a cut – her skin had been smudged into being ripped.
From her repetitive training, Yeorum earned the habit of introspecting her emotions if there was blood in her mouth. It was because she tended to bite her tongue and the inside of her mouth when upset.
However, that training was proving to be fruitless in a time like this, evidently so from how she spitted out the blood flowing in her mouth at Yu Jitae.
Her tiny head contorted from the shock and pain.
His hand came to a faint stop.
But he couldn’t stop here. Her frustration had to keep going up exponentially. Only when it reaches a certain level will the entity feel powerless.
With both of his hands, he pressed down hard onto her neck.
Every part of her upper body including her shoulders, her neck and her head shrunk from pain as her hands that were gathered around her chest gripped onto Yu Jitae’s arm. The small hand that could not even fully wrap around his wrist shivered, and soon, she raised her nails to start gnawing at his wrist.
“It is okay to get angry. But you cannot be controlled by your emotions.”
“Can’t you see? Even when you are controlled by your emotions, nothing will change.”
He could feel a strong vitality trying to push him away. This was the vitality of the thing wriggling inside her blood vessels, and not Yeorum.
“You can do nothing but get bashed up. Like right now.”
Yu Jitae talked about the rules. He told it that the times had changed. It was through this process that he was making it learn powerlessness.
“Uhhhkkk… Kuhuk, kuaaaakk…!”
It resisted. His wrists were torn. Through the flowing blood, Yeorum’s nails invaded deeper in through the muscles and the veins and reached the ligaments.
“B, but your wound.”
He shouted and Clone 2 turned frozen stiff.
The education wasn’t one that would end in just a few minutes. After around 10 minutes, Yeorum began to desperately shout again.
“Let go, let go!”
As if she was trying to kill herself, the movement inside her mouth was abnormal – she suddenly bit onto her entire tongue. Her goal seemed different from the usual one, where she would bite her tongue to control her emotions. He smacked the child by the head and gripped onto her jaws and her cheekbones.
“No you can’t.”
Yu Jitae unhesitatingly shoved his finger inside her mouth the moment she opened it. No matter how hard she crunched down on it, his finger remained intact.
Her instincts had to forget using violence as a stress relieving method.
20 years. Those were the times Yeorum had spent while being controlled by her emotions. Solving that in one go was nothing but greed.
He once again raised his hand.
It will be a tough time.
Yeorum turned quiet only after roughly 10 hours of a test of strength.
She was constantly angry but her struggles failed to lead to any result. She should know it in her head, and from time to time she would close her eyes and clench her teeth after coming to her senses and look at Yu Jitae with a slightly apologetic gaze.
However, her instincts continued inviting her to get angry and Yeorum was constantly swept away by her emotions.
In this instant, Yeorum was a victim.
At one point, she could no longer struggle after being drained out and could only gaze up at him. Despite having trouble breathing, she looked straight up at his face with her bruised eyes.
Clone 2 on the other hand did not know what to do and restlessly moved around. He would repeat walking up to him and walking away but did not dare start a conversation, and could do nothing but anxiously observe them.
At last when tears started to flow out of her eyes looking up at him, Yu Jitae stopped his hand.
The moment of anger had passed already. Yeorum was feeling powerless.
Standing up from the ground, he passed the leash to Clone 2.
The clone calmly made Yeorum stand back up and began to walk. The [Chains of Hell] were still actively sucking power out of her body and this would be a continuation of her frustration.
Yu Jitae walked up to the child who was arduously pushing her feet forward. She turned her head to look at him.
But that was when Yu Jitae tripped her foot. Powerlessly, Yeorum crumbled and fell on the ground.
While slowly lifting her body back up, she raised her head and glared at him. Her fidgety mouth soon let out a word.
She was swearing, but there was no sharpness in her voice.
After giving that command again, he watched Yeorum walk. This time, he pushed the child, who was limping due to the Chains of Hell, and she fell to the side.
“Stop pushing me… So annoying…”
Once again, those were the only things she said while looking away from him.
He looked deeper in and identified the pulsation of her heart and the mana formula.
She wasn’t scared. Yeorum was still angry but was accepting the situation with a powerless heart. Suppressing his mixed feelings, he heaved a sigh.
The first training was a success.
However, that couldn’t stop Yeorum from becoming sulky. The moment he said, “Good work. It’s break time,” Yeorum pushed out her wrists and her neck, demanding him to release her. He quietly untied them as she turned her feet and walked off into the distance.
“Ah, excuse me…”
Clone 2 followed after her in surprise.
“Don’t come,” said Yeorum.
“Umm, it’s not fully over yet.”
“Leave me alone.”
“You cannot go yet. It has to come to an end today.”
Yeorum flicked her head and glared at him with eyes full of irritation.
Thinking that she might explode again, Clone 2 turned stiff but she silently turned around and headed straight to a large training equipment before crouching down behind it. She was hiding her body.
“Is that okay sir?”
There was nothing he could do about that.
Yeorum had been the king wherever she was. She was like the head of a pack and most of the time had been the one in control of the flow.
It was because that was the rule her instincts were telling her.
‘I am the best here.’
‘You must listen to my commands.’
‘I will do whatever my heart desires.’
‘No-one can dare put restrictions on me.’
Those were the shouts of her instinct. The reason it didn’t show on the outside was because Yeorum was a person, not a beast.
However, those principles that had been built up inside her had just been countered head-first by Yu Jitae.
‘You are not the best.’
‘Times have changed and you must be able to fit into the surroundings.’
‘There are things that cannot be changed even if you do get angry.’
‘You can be restricted whenever.’
Since he couldn’t directly convey those words to the imaginary ‘instinct’ residing in her blood, Yeorum had to take the entire consequence herself.
It was understandable for her to be in a bad mood.
She would probably be feeling quite sad. It perhaps could have been a big shock to her because something must have snapped inside her heart.
“It is fine so don’t worry about it.”
“You go step outside and take a breather as well.”
Clone 2 was also in an extremely gloomy mood. After meeting his eye for a split second, he gave a salute before leaving the training room. Yu Jitae watched his back before turning around.
Hiding behind the equipment, Yeorum had her body curled up with a cigarette in her mouth. She appeared very exhausted and the wounds around her wrists, her neck and her cheeks had yet to fully recover.
When he walked up to her, Yeorum raised her body in a fright. She was clearly nervous.
“It’s fine. The first training is over.”
“You can sit down and rest.”
With adequate distance in between them, he stood in front of Yeorum as she gasped for breath with an unlit cigarette between her lips.
Was it very painful for her? The thought weighed his heart down.
It was the only and the most effective method out of everything he knew. That was the conclusion he had drawn based on the data from several various experiments.
But if that was the correct solution, why was it that looking at Yeorum crouching down on the ground made his heart feel even heavier?
That was when Yeorum opened her mouth. Her cigarette caught fire as the child’s sigh entered his sight.
“I was just a little surprised. I know it was necessary and it does feel like something has changed. It felt like I was going to lose my mind but not being able to move instead made me come back to my senses.”
“Did you say this was the first training?”
“There is one more left.”
“Hmm… I’m curious how that will harass me this time.”
“Was it painful?”
“No. Don’t worry too much about it. There’s no problem. I can do it.”
The smoke coming out of her mouth settled down on the floor.
“But, you see… I, was a bit…”
Yeorum covered her face with both of her hands and wiped her face. He tried to go closer to meet her eyes but she immediately turned her head.
“Sorry if I surprised you.”
“What ‘sorry’. There’s no need to be sorry. You were doing it because it was necessary, and it’s something I asked for as well.”
“I should be sorry instead for making you do something you didn’t want to do. But…”
What remained after the disappearance of the blazing anger was a cold layer of freezing fury. He could sense displeasure in her gaze that was very similar to the one he found from Myu’s voice.
Those were the eyes of a person who had despaired from many things.
“…I’m not saying this because I hate you.
“There’s nothing much, but it’s just… I don’t know. I’m a little surprised…
“So can you just go away for now.”
Did something snap inside her heart, he wondered as it gave him the feeling that the child disliked him.
“…Out of my sight.”
He knew this might happen. There was no way having something snap in your heart would be a good feeling.
The reason he didn’t do this earlier was because doing such a thing with not enough bond built up between Yeorum and him could leave this memory like a trauma that makes her unhappy.
Even though he thought there was enough bond at this point, the child being displeased from a shock this big was perhaps something that was to be expected.
Something similar had happened in the past.
– You fucking dick…
It was similar to how it was with the red entity who loathed him from the bottom of her heart more so than when she was locked up. It was natural because they were the same being.
– You will be punished even after death…
Back then, he ignored it because it was a necessary part of the process.
However, he now couldn’t ignore it with ease.
Yu Jitae closed his eyes. He could feel a crack being opened inside the heart he had forced to a close. Like a spring, the chaos that he had suppressed was in full tension, ready to burst out at any moment.
It was because behind that large training equipment;
Yeorum was wiping her tears with her wrists.
He was striking the dirty instinct inside her blood and was trying to snap it’s will. However, the one that had to bear the brunt of it was Yeorum; it was Yeorum who had to go through pain and it was also Yeorum who would hate him with a leftover emotional wound.
His heart was in distress.
This was the same rectifying process as the one he had done in previous iterations.
That was what he had been thinking till now.
However, the context was different from back then. In the emotional side, he was no different from a young kid because his heart had been dead once and had only revived very recently. In a situation like that, thinking about the bond he had built up with Yeorum shattering to pieces made his heart feel uncontrollably uncomfortable.
The problem was in opening his heart to live the daily lives in the 7th iteration. The issue was in his bond soaring into the sky unafraid of the scenery below. The impact created from the drop was not small.
This was what was different from the 5+ iterations.
The situation was the same as before,
But there was a difference in height.
“Hey, I’m here…”
Even then, he could not stop here.
This was something that had to be done. It was compulsory.
Even if it were to grind at something inside the child’s heart, and even if it were to create an irrecoverable crack on the painstakingly built-up relationship,
He had to do it.
“How do you feel.”
“Nn. I feel a little better. Sorry for acting up like a retard all of a sudden. I was a little surprised… It seems there’s still an immature side in me.”
Yeorum hesitantly came to him after changing her blood-stained t-shirt into a training vest.
“Anyway, let’s do the second one…”
But unfortunately for her,
The second training would be a lot more painful than the first one. It was about controlling one’s emotions even in extreme situations and the most extreme situation for a red dragon was obviously…
…When there was death looming in front of her eyes.
The single crack continued branching off into creating more crevices. As his heart felt increasingly more distressed, he raised a sharp, gleaming blade from his waist.
“Take out your core, put it in your mouth and come here.”
It was something that had to be done.